Monday, October 22, 2012

This one is for the ladies.

I left the house today without wearing any makeup and it didn't dawn on me until I was already done buying cat food and back on my way home. See, there was a time when I was a teenager when I didn't leave the house without a full mask face of makeup, sans eyeshadow. Guys, there was eyebrow makeup involved. I had terrible skin, or at least I thought I did, so I caked on that foundation until you could barely tell there was a human under it all. I was also convinced I was the color of a vampire, which is seriously not true. Once I finally bothered to match foundation to the color of my skin, I looked like an entirely different person.

Remember the "Moms, please don't dress like homeless circus clowns challenge"? This one? One of the things that I took away from it was that giving myself a few extra minutes to do it up in the morning can do wonderful things for me. Up until that point it was BB cream and mascara, maybe a little lip gloss. I decided to add in an official makeup routine (which brought my getting ready time up to about 10 minutes) and I kind of feel all sexy pants now. Kind of.

I'll be back later with more pictures of my kids doing normal kid stuff and my dogs eating fish heads but, for now, here is a list of the things that help make me the most bonerific Midwestern mom of them all.


Basic every day things? Soap, lotion, deodorant and shampoo (and toothpaste, never forget the toothpaste.) I'm not loyal to any type of shampoo, it either needs to be moisturizing or I slop some conditioner on afterwards. I have a bad habit of never remembering to rinse out conditioner, so 2 in 1s are alright by me. I think the kind I have in the shower right now is the Costco brand, but I'm a fan of the Garnier stuff from Target. Nothing fancy, that's for sure. I buy my soap from Etsy or the farmer's market, the hippier the smell the better. Yes, I'm the girl who uses stuff that smells like patchouli and a compost pile. I love anything from Oakmoss and Elegant Rose Boutique. Anderson Soap Company is next on my list of soaps to try. Deodorant is Tom's or Secret when it's hot like an effer outside. Shea Nation lotion from Target is perfect for me, it's super moisturizing and makes me smell just a little dirty. Good stuff.

I don't wash my face. I splash water on it in the morning and do the oil cleansing method at night. I get a random breakout here and there (I put some tea tree oil on when I do get one), but I credit this as the reason I feel completely comfortable going out with a bare face now. I mix jojoba and castor oil because I tend to have oilier skin and I put in a couple of drops of argan oil if I'm a bit dry. Massage it in, let it sit for a second, put a warm wash cloth over my face for a bit and then wipe it off. Voila.

I always thought that oil + oily skin = one giant zit for a face. It took me a long time to realize that this is just a stupid myth. In fact, the more oil I slop on my skin the better it looks.

Cosmetic Lad is the greatest moisturizer to ever be made. Seriously. It sinks right into my skin and I have never, ever felt oily from it. It moisturizes the dry parts and helps out the oily patches. It's great for a guy after shaving, for soothing irritated skin or even if your cuticles are a little dry. I love it. The Roc stuff is a newer purchases and I put it on at night. So far, so good. I really like it a lot.

What do I use every day? BB cream, NYX blush in Pinched and mascara. I need an eyelash curler, otherwise my lashes are so long that I can see them and they hit my glasses. I've got real problems, obviously. I just switched to The Falsies mascara and honestly, it's weird because it makes my eyelashes so nice that they kind of look fake. So I guess it lives up to its promises? The blush is also a new addition and, truly, it's the perfect shade. I look healthy for a change. And I will never, ever go back to "normal" foundation, BB cream is where it's at.


If I ever need concealer, I go with the CG Olay stuff for old ladies. The Dream Matte powder is the most perfect powder ever, and the NYC bronzer in Sunny is the only bronzer I will ever let get near me. I'll put a little on my nose and cheeks, or sometimes I will use it as eyeshadow.

I'm not one of those ladies who wears makeup to the grocery store but, it's not like I'm out in da club either, so I'm usually sporting lip gloss. The blue ChapStick is the best stuff for the job (I share it with J and there's always a stray tube hanging out somewhere in the house), but I also love the peppermint balm from Oakmoss and anything from Long Winter Farm. Being a total hippie, I do not wear perfume. No thanks (but, if you were to twist my arm, I'd go with Philosophy's Falling In Love.) Instead, I use essential oils that I get from eBay that are buy three get one free with free shipping. This is also how I buy the oils for my face. Beware, the Fabulous Frannie seller can be kind of wishy washy when you ask to combine to get your free one. I had great transactions and then on my last one, they never sent me a combined total after I asked three times and then, all of a sudden, they cancelled the transaction and gave me pissy feedback. Oh. I just got the oil in the picture from Long Winter Farm and I'm hooked, so I'll definitely be back for more soon.

(Side note, I've gotten some great things from Good Earth Living, but it looks like they've closed up shop until the end of the month.)

 (Baby Lips in Pink Punch and Cherry Me, Maybelline 14HR Lipstick in Enduring Ruby, Revlon Super Lustrous Creme in Certainly Red, Revlon Just Bitten Balm Stain in Honey.)

 (Revlon Just Bitten Balm Stain in Honey, Baby Lips in Cherry Me and Pink Punch, Maybelline 14HR Lipstick in Enduring Ruby and Revlon Super Lustrous Creme in Certainly Red.)

I do own lipsticks, though. The Baby Lips from Maybelline are my go-tos because they are easy like a lip gloss but have just enough color to make me feel all done up and purty. The other three cover the basics, a long-lasting darker color, the perfect red and a go-to everyday stain. If you like things in tube form and want a little color, Burt's Bees Tinted balm in Honeysuckle is awesome. I would have included it, but I recently lost my tube. It's very similar to the Just Bitten Honey stain, so I haven't felt the need to replace it yet.


Do I use eyeshadow? Sure but, as you can tell, I'm not super comfortable with it and thus, have three packs of the same colors. The one on the left is Wet N Wild's Walking on Eggshells and the one on the top right is Cover Girl's Shimmering Sands. I just got the Mary-Lou Manizer from the Balm in this month's Birchbox and it's become my every day "shadow." It's really a highlighter and can be used all over your face, but I like to use it on my lids.

Hair care? Eh, not really. I had two hair cuts from the time I was pregnant with Eli until after I had Sam, so it was never high on my list. I hate sitting in a chair and making small talk, and I tend to go to crappy places that give me terrible cuts, so I never put much importance on the need to keep my head groomed. I recently tried a place and LOVED it (dudes, my stylist is a puppeteer, for real) and figured out that not keeping my hair up in a ponytail for months really does wonders for my self confidence. So, I blow dry quickly in the morning and put a little bit of this dry shampoo in and I'm good to go. Please note, get the gold bottle from Suave and NOT the silver bottle. The silver bottle is gross and makes you look like you get your hair color from a can, like this guy.

Is there anything that you love that I should know about? Leave suggestions in the comments, I'm always up for trying new stuff.


  1. If you're interested in stepping a tiny bit out of your comfort zone, the Urban Decay Naked Palette might be fun. I prefer the first one but both are great. Lots of neutrals to play with plus some darker shades if you want to try something new. clicky

    I can't help but think of Tiny Fey in 'Baby Mama' when I read the title of this post ;)

  2. I wore make up on my wedding day. Since then? Nope. Before then? I think prom?

  3. I'm disgustingly into this post. I should be ashamed of myself and my cosmetic whoring ways. I love Josie Maran anything because I swear even her eyeliner is moisturizing in some weird, creepy way. I ask for gift sets from Sephora every year for Christmas so I don't have to shell out the $$$ myself.

    Also, Garnier 4 lyfe! I just did some strategic couponing and got both my shampoo and conditioner for free. Thanks for the non-dirty hair, Target!